Kay on a road trip

vs.

Game 18 April 18, 2008 - 7:05 p.m. ET
Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore, Md.
Play-by-Play: Michael Kay
Color: Kenny Singleton (Welcome back, Kenny!)

Straight to the Kaytributions:

Top second: "In this lineup, Cano, Damon and Giambi aren't where they want to be."

• Because if they were in a worse lineup, they'd want to have OBPs of .191, .323 and .294.

Bottom second: Talking about Wally Pipp and the famous story."You kind of think Gehrig would have begun to play eventually."

• Points for Michael. Even after perpetuating the myth, he still accepts the reality that Gehrig was good enough to win a job without Pipp's "headache."

On the Nationals new stadium threatening the Orioles: Many people consider this park to be a better park. But it's [Nationals Park] is still a nice park.

• Nationals Park has hosted one papal Mass and six baseball games. Is it safe to say the jury is still out on the stadium?

Top third: "He thre five pitches. Fiiiiive pitches."

• That second one came with some sort of Southern twang. Thanks, Michael.Your regular voice is not annoying enough. Now you know adding an accent will not improve it. You haven't hit rock bottom.

Top fourth: "Babe Ruth was ACTUALLY born here in Baltimore ... Legend has it that Babe Ruth's father ACTUALLY ran a saloon where center field is now ... You can ACTUALLY see the room in which Babe was born. [a little later] Babe Ruth ACTUALLY won a World Series with the Red Sox."

Love YES (My9). After talking about Babe Ruth, they find a fat fan in a Yankees cap. Awesome job.

Bottom fourth: Luke Scott scalds a ball down the right-field line. It gets to the corner. Let's join Kay. "Abreu spins, FIRES ... and Scott has a double."

• Not only did Scott have a double, he didn't have to slide. That didn't stop Kay's aborted orgasm though.

Top fifth: "Two pitchers on the mound who can be very, very good or very, very bad. Tonight, they're ... pretty good."

Kenny goes through the stats on Eutaw Street, the roadway in front of the warehouse. Kay: "If this were an SAT exam, it would be Eutaw Street is to Camden Yards as the black seats are to Yankee Stadium."

• "SAT exams" don't have analogies anymore. That's also a tough analogy considering Eutaw Street is outside and the black seats are inside the ballpark.

Kay just read a spot for Flavor Flav's reality show.

Did Kay get on Darryl Strawberry for not doing more games for SNY? "I think he and Paul O'Neill are seeing who can do more games. It must be a right fielder thing."

• Who are you to talk? What's your excuse? You and Joe Buck are competing to see who can do fewer games. Must be a pompous ass thing.

Kay goes on and on about how great Jeter is great with runners in scoring position and two outs.

Career line: .317/.388/.462 (average/on-base percentage/slugging percentage)
RISP and two outs: .317/.417/.448

Top sixth: Robinson Cano hits a belt-high fastball to left. "Scooped out to left."

• What does that even mean?

Top seventh: Jeter fists a single to right. "That is a Jeterian swing as he takes it to right."

• Why does Jeter get so much credit for hitting weak ground balls to the right side? If Brian Roberts had been playing two steps to his left, that is a routine play.

This game was a disaster for the Yankees and not much better for Kay. He added a spins, FIRES to his repertoire on what was a clear double. More Saturday!