When I think Michael Kay, I don't think Hall of Famer

vs.

Game 29: April 30, 2008 - 7:05 p.m. ET
Yankee Stadium, New York, N.Y.
Play-by-Play: Michael Kay
Color: Al "Talkalot" Leiter and John Flaherty

Missed the first inning and a half, but John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman do get Kay points for saying that Andy Pettitte's rookie year was 1996.

Bottom second: Raving about Alberto Gonzalez's defense, Kay says that the Yankees were so high on him that "when they knew the Jeter injury would only be a day or two" they called up Gonzalez when "Wilson Betemit could have just played those games at short."

• I don't recall the Yankees knowing it would be a day or two, considering Jeter missed six games. And, they didn't think it would only be a day or two either.

This questioning is getting ridiculous. Leiter asked Flaherty if, when he was filling in for a star, if he tried to do more than he could. He even prefaced it with a "Let me ask you this." We won't have any trouble replacing Kay

Bottom third: "There's not a person in baseball who doesn't love John Flaherty!"

• There's not a person in baseball who likes Michael Kay, who is clearly envious of the lovable catcher.

Top fourth: Kay hosts a roundtable discussion on Hall of Fame credentials since Gary Sheffield is up. Kay goes on and on about "tighter baseballs, lower mounds" as reasons why evaluating today's hitters are different. "Some people you look at you just feel are Hall of Famers. When I look at Jim Thome, I don't think Hall of Famer."

• If only there were a stat that allowed us to compare eras. Oh wait, there is. It's called OPS+. Sure it's not perfect. But all this is 500 homers enough and other such silly questions won't help anyone.

Bottom fourth: On bases: "Back in the old days, they were just pillows, and they weren't anchored to the ground."

• Right, they just blew willy-nilly all over the field. Second base is in right field? Crap, better get over there quick!

Jose Molina ground "to Guillen. Steadies, fires, got him." Are you serious? With Molina running?

Top fifth: "Here's Guillen, who made that strong throw to end the third."

• I know this game is going a little fast, but try to stay with it.

Bottom fifth: Here we go. Kay starts talking about Jeremy Bonderman and how he was profiled in Moneyball as not a "Billy Beane type of player." Doesn't mention why -- because Bonderman was a high school pitcher and Beane didn't want any high school pitchers. Then Kay tells of the trade that sent Bonderman to the Tigers -- and conveniently leaves out that the Yankees were involved in that three-way masterpiece. Oh, Jeff Weaver, where have you gone?

Top sixth: Kay's love for Bob Feller and reruns rears its ugly head when he told for the second time in five days about how Feller throws batting practice to fantasy campers. He also wonders earlier if Bob Feller's no-hitter at Yankee Stadium was on Opening Day. It was not. Leiter suggests that Jack Morris threw an Opening Day no-hitter, but Leiter is wrong. Most people know Feller's no-hitter was the first and last on Opening Day.

Top seventh: Curtis Granderson pinch-hits, but Kay doesn't mention it. Maybe Granderson really is invisible. He moves to second on a groundout but YES takes the yellow mark off the basepaths diagram.

Bottom seventh: Granderson now in center, doesn't get a mention, even after he makes a play.

Top eighth: Is Kay blind? A ball soars out to to left field hit by Placido Polanco. Johnny Damon jumps, the ball hits the net above the retired numbers. Kay waits about three seconds, then finally sees the ball and says, "See ya!" Textbook.

We have a "Past a diving Jeter"!

Final score: Tigers 6, Yankees 2

I owe Juan Rivera an apology: Derek Jeter only missed a day or two, bases in the old days blew all over the field. Not a bad day for Kay; the game went too quickly for him to make a complete ass of himself.