Friday, April 25, 2008

"Did you hit on her?"

Game 24: April 25, 2008 - 7:05 p.m. ET
Progressive Field, Cleveland, Ohio
Play-by-Play: Michael Kay
Color: David Cone, all by his lonesome

Top second:
If a game is in Cleveland, it must mean it's time to talk about how great Jacobs Progressive Field is and its effect on the city, blah, blah, blah.
  • Now, the Indians did have 455 sellouts back in the 1990s when the Cavs sucked and the Browns were the Ravens -- because Art Modell didn't like how Cleveland was (not) lining his pockets. Here are Cleveland's American League attendance rankings (out of 14) since 2003: 12, 12, 12, 11, 9. Did Kay tell me this? Does Kay know this? Nope.
Jason Giambi goes deep -- "a loud and large home run" -- and Cone says this "proves Giambi has his bat speed back.
  • I'm going to say the jury is still out. Paul Byrd isn't exactly giving Joba Chamberlain a run for his money in the radar-gun department. I know this blog is all about Kay, but Cone has been a major disappointment. He's basically John Flaherty with more words per minute and a few more skeletons in the closet.
Bottom second: "Jake Westbrook is on the DL with a lat muscle pull. Now, not doubting the the severity of the injuries, but people just didn't sit out with these things before."
  • But see, by saying that, you are doubting the severity of the injuries. And why does everyone pine for the good ole days when pitch counts were non-existent and you only iced your arm if you threw 56 innings in one day? Baseball players make a lot of money, but imagine if everyone started clamoring for the 70-hour workweek. Stop romanticizing the past.
Bottom third: Kelly Shoppach gets nailed trying to stretch a single into the double. They show a replay of Pettite's reaction (second time they've shown it). Kay: "Scream it out, Andy!"
  • I call this Joe Buck syndrome -- "Touch first, Mark!" -- but other broadcasters have taken this on. Here's a little tip: The players can't hear you.
Top fourth: First two Yankees swing at the first pitch. "Now, if you're Andy Pettitte, do you want Posada to take a pitch here?"
  • Allow me, David. "No Michael, I want him to swing at the first pitch and purposely make out so I can have about 110 seconds of rest." This is why Kay gets ripped for asking idiotic questions of his color commentators. One of our commenters called them Little League questions. That's an example.
The scorebar at the top of the screen, which has so much trouble making an appearance before there is an out in the inning, flashes at the top right before the commercial rolls. Can't sneak anything by us!

Bottom fourth: "The Prog" gets the second reference. I may have gone overboard with the Cell critique on Wednesday. But this is still annoying.

Top fifth: Kay talks about the drummer John Adams who bangs that drum in right field. "I think HBO just finished a documentary on John Adams."
  • Hilarious.
"The Yankees designated pitcher Chad Moeller for assignment. I mean catcher, Moeller's a catcher."
  • Yes, he is. Good save.
Madonna just got into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Cone says he's going visit the exhibit -- she's his "high school sweetheart." Kay asks if they ever met. Cone says yes.
"Were you married at the time?"
"Did you hit on her?"
"No, Ron Darling beat me to the punch."
  • We like to keep this a family blog, but let's hope that if Cone did hit on Madonna, that's all he did. (Good taste is a matter of taste.) Also, isn't Cone's flirtation not an appropriate topic for discussion on a My9 game?

Bottom fifth: Posada goes out to the mound. Cone: "A lot of people ask me, What they are talking about there?"
  • Who, David? Who could ask you such obvious questions? It's gotten so bad that Cone is asking the questions for Kay.
Bottom sixth: In reference to "I heart 24" signs directed toward Indians heartthrob Grady Sizemore. "I wish people had signs like that for me. It's just not happening."
"They don't, in Tarrytown?"
  • I for one am secure enough in my sexuality to agree with the females in their treatment of Kay and Sizemore.
Top seventh: "Cano's a slow starter. ... Last year, too, he got off to a slow start."
  • On April 26, 2007, Cano was hitting .308 with a .353 on-base percentage. His dip came in May. Little-known fact.
Bottom eighth: Trip to Bizzaro World: "I've always wondered, if you're out on the mound and you had a fight with your wife or girlfriend, do you think about that?"

Top ninth: Kay quotes Cleveland general manager Mark Shapiro and says Joe Borowski had the ability to shake off blown saves. First of all, Borowski had plenty of chances to show how good he was at shaking them off. Second of all, anyone can shake off blown saves to the tune of a 5.07 ERA.

Final score: Indians 6, Yankees 4
I owe Juan Rivera an apology: Cleveland's fans have always come out, Chad Moeller is a catcher, Robinson Cano sucked in April last season, Joe Borowski is an asset to a big-league team


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