Thursday, August 31, 2006

It was a bad month for you, too

31 August, vs. Detroit

Kay waits until the Tigers lineup is introduced before providing the first Kaytribution:

"Curtis Granderson will bat eighth, he's the center fielder. He hasn't had a good August so he'll be glad to see that month go by.

Is Curtis Granderson pleased to see Sept. 1? Will he wake up and say, "Wow, it's a new month, maybe I won't strike out 24 times because it's not Aug. anymore?" Or maybe he'll say, "Too bad the Romans added July and August to the calendar, or I wouldn't have sucked for this long."

Granderson more likely does not know the specifics of his August numbers, since he doesn't rely on arbitrary splits like Kay.

While FMK is on this game, Jim Kaat deserves a mention. Besides providing a publication that proves a book can be judged by its cover, Kaat adds little to the broadcast world. With three Yankee games in 27 hours, Kaat's commentary runs dry. Every time Alex Rodriguez made a play. Kaat would say something to the effect of this, and it happened at least five times:

Even though Alex is struggling at the plate, he's struggling a little less in the field. And he's using a bigger glove.

Thanks for the insight, Jim.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Doubleheader=double dose of Kay

30 August, vs. Tigers

Thank goodness the Tigers -- the Majors' best team -- bring Michael Kay out of his hole to call some Yankee games and try to reclaim his title as "Voice of the Yankees."

If FMK had a counter like you see at museums or in pitching coaches' hands, this number would be more precise, but Michael Kay says "actually" around 657 times during each game. Here's the latest example:

With Detroit DH Dmitri Young at the plate:

Dmitri's younger brother, Delmon Young, the highly touted prospect with the Devil Rays, actually made his Major League debut last night. His first time up, he was actually hit by a pitch. His second time up, he hit a home run.

Some argue that "actually" is the new "like"; a needless adverb that usually adds nothing to a sentence. Here is a rare example of how the word would be useful:

Michael, Delmon's home run actually came in his third plate appearance.

FMK also thinks that Delmon is more (in)famous right now for throwing a bat at an umpire during a Triple-A game than for being Dmitri's younger brother. Maybe that deserved a mention.

Towards the end of the game, Kay points out the Yankees' starter for Sunday is unnamed, and suggests the possibility the Yankees will use a "bullpen-by-committee" approach. As most of us know, a bullpen is a collection of relief pitchers that fulfill different roles. Seems to FMK that a bullpen is a comittee. Kay's not the only broadcaster to perpetuate this foolish phrase, and he even semi-corrected himself to say "starter by bullpen committee," but who knows what that means either?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Back for the stretch run, Kay permitting

As the season nears its final month, FMK has come out of retirement. And after watching the Yankees this week on YES, a reasonable question can be asked: Has Michael Kay retired? The length of the five-game series against Boston last weekend has been well documented. It included the longest nine-inning game ever played -- the nightcap of a doubleheader no less. If Kay had to call all five games, maybe his absence from a six-game jaunt to the west coast could be excused. But he only called three. Kay was there for both ends of the doubleheader and Monday's get-away day. Now he's too tired to go to Seattle and Anaheim? Please. Not that people should complain about Kay's absence, but the slacker's job is to announce Yankee games, not host Centerstage.